Cultural education

What is mochi?

         It's a type of Japanese glutinous rice.

So you mean like bananas?

Decorum

You know I don't like to use the bathroom in public.

On Bin Laden

If the turban don't fit, you must acquit.

Romance

Wanna get inside another man's mind?
Because you're in my head already!

Delicate

I hate messes being made on television.

Back to our roots

Let's put the sex back in section.

Musical stalkers

Sting operation: literally, every breath you take, he'll be watching you.

Relaxing

On drinking a mojito:

"Now that's MO like it."

Name confusion

Our professor defended Ted Bundy. Once he explained that it wasn't the dad from Married With Children, I was especially impressed.

Good night's sleep

How did you sleep?
Like an angel in baby Jesus's arms.

Socializing

The presence of your company is requested for consuming post-bacchanal creamed dairy desserts.

Standards

I don't like to sleep in public.
It makes me feel like an animal.

Same Hypo

Same hypo, but the last weapon is a giant nuclear bomb.

Same hypo, but the bomb is full of glitter.

Same hypo, but instead of causing harm, the glitter nuke causes CHARM

Homage

I ate a key lime pie yoplait, pretended it was real pie...then i saw eat pray love  (Part 1 of a series of homages to www.andthenisaweatpraylove.com)

The Fresh Prince's take on the Dormant Commerce Clause

in west philadelphia, born in raised, rolling in trash for most of my dayschillin' out, smelling trout, not feeling coolbecause the state next door makes us stew in our stool

Milkshakes and Constitutional Law

my radioactive material brings all the courts to the yard
and they're like "anti commandeering is hard"
you're damn right anticommandeering is hard